Couple Counseling
Premarital counseling, like any couples counseling, is usually performed by a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, or clinical social worker. Consider this when wondering whether or not couples counseling or premarital counseling is right for you: Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Supplementing couples counseling with premarital counseling will build upon the groundwork laid by couples counseling in order to prepare you for the next step in your relationship.
There are several functions of premarital counseling.
1. To assist couples in developing skills to successfully navigate their way through
2. Identify areas of difference (conflict) and possibly resolve them.
Commonly covered ground in premarital counseling includes:
-Interest and activities
-Role expectations
-Personal adjustments
-Interpersonal communication
-Religion and philosphy
-Marriage expectations
-Finances
-Children and parenting
-Sexuality
When should a couple seek pre-marital counseling?
The following criteria has been suggested by the California Association for Marriage Family Therapists
-When you are young and have never been married (Some states, such as California, require by law that individuals under the age of 18 complete couples counseling or premarital counseling before the wedding)
-When one partner is “commitment-phobic”
-When a couple cannot resolve significant conflicts about issues such as the ones covered above.
-When one or both partners have had a previously failed marriage.
-A history of childhood abuse or domestic violence.
Other considerations for couples counseling or premarital counseling include:
-Educating yourself on marriage.
-Do you want a religious or secular organization/counselor?
-Do you want to take an educational approach, that covers the basics of marriage, or a goal-oriented counseling approach that covers certain concerns and issues regarding your relationship.
Many couples do not realize the importance of a couples counseling or pre-marriage counseling. However, research has shown that it has significant effects on both in the long-term (it can reduce divorce rates) and the short-term (premarital stress).
You do not necessarily need to have a problem in your relationship to go to couples counseling and premarital counseling. Even in a seemingly perfect relationship, it can strengthen and prepare you for future challenges and conflicts. In fact, it is better to attend couples counseling or premarital counseling when there is a seemingly infinite source of positive energy in your relationship.
Because people want to believe that love is all they need before marriage, couples counseling or premarital counseling often has a negative stigma surrounding it. However, as evidenced by the abysmal divorce rates, many times couples rush into a relationship without thinking of the future and the almost inevitable conflicts that lay ahead. Couples counseling and premarital counseling can open up discussion about issues that you may feel uncomfortable bringing up yourself.
Different premarital counseling and couples counseling will cover different things so research ahead and decide what it is you want. And remember, counseling does not mean you have a problem right now, it is also preparation for the future when issues become more complicated.
Tim Du
Counselor Network Writer
